School...Random Life... and me.

School... it's been keeping me so busy. Sometimes I feel out of touch with myself, as I run from class to class, to Guidance, to the Main Office. I ask for a pass, if I am going to take my time and not DASH off to class... I realize it's good to take your time as you walk through the halls and realize all that you miss when you're running from class to class as if there is no tomorrow. You miss the little things.. the notes left on the lockers... the quietness in the halls... the smells. It's all so "Sidney high school"..... you miss the random things.. like the sound of a teacher teaching... its so weird. Like, when you're in class... you just kinda drown it out and its just a voice. Well, when you're not in class... it sounds exciting, you hear the kids laughing... the teachers loudly exclaiming something. I don't know, I wish I didn't have to be so rushed sometimes, sprinting from class to class, trying to fit down the crowded hallway, that's pushing and packed full of short, medium and enormously tall people. It's actually quite the challenge. My friend Johncie, the other day.. asked me if I was afraid of crowds. My answer.. no. I just don't enjoy being pushed and shoved into lockers :) :) I love crowds of calm and relaxed people... just please don't put me in the main hall at school when the morning bell rings. :) That's not my definition of fun!
So... on an awesome note... I am on Honor Society- for Sidney High School. I am also nominated for Honor Society through my BOCES class. This is a major privileged... and for those of you who don't know.. Honor Society is for the "smart kids" (no, I'm not bragging) and it's a big time like.."wow...honor society" :). I have the highest average in my BOCES Class... which has been something that I have had all year, and I really want to keep it up and stay at the top of that class. That is what I am looking to do after high school, go to college for my RN or LPN... which one, I'm still undecided. I felt really happy though when my teacher asked for my transcripts and I grinned when she told me why. You know, being a new kid... I had insecurities about everything. I was afraid I would be dumb in Public School, I was afraid that I would have no friends, I was sooo scared of everything. The looks of the halls scared me, and I just wanted to cry when I would look down the hall, and see them looming with so many people. There were times when I didn't understand what exactly we were supposed to do in class, and I would just want to go home to mom. LOL, i know.. it might sound lame. But I was scared to death and yet sooo ready to face school. I was ready to take on the challenge.
I have faced many challenges while being in school. I will not lie to anyone, and tell them that this has been easy. I have been confused at times, felt like I have compromised in many ways, and yet.. .through it all, God hasn't given up on me. I know that for a fact... and that's why I'm working so hard at getting my life where I want it to be with God.... doing my devotions with a lot more consistency... (or really really trying to).... praying when I get out of bed, praying that God would take my life... take my day... and use it and be with me with every little decision that I make. It's been out of "duty" sometimes... but you know, it's becoming a habit. Which, I like. :)
Anyhow- there is a History note-pack sitting here... calling out my name... wanting me to pick it up and study so that I can pass the test tomorrow. :) So, I must run along. It's four pages of notes.. that I need to study. History... I really struggle with. SO. this is a grade that needs to be brought up about 10 points before i will be completely satisfied.
So... if you read all of this... wow... I'll be impressed and feel very loved... he he!
have a wonderful night... keep shining...